November 17, 2011
So. It has been a while. I’ve been on radio silence for about a month because there have been some very big changes in my life recently. Namely, I picked up everything and moved across the country, New York to Los Angeles. I didn’t have a job waiting here. There was no real reason. I had friends, a sublet I had found, 5 boxes I had shipped to said friends, and 3 suitcases that I took on a plane. I left a job, connections, a boy, my life. I moved because I felt stuck. I’d been feeling like I was making zero progress in my career, and that nothing was ever going to change. That no one on that coast was ever going to open a door, or hell, even a window for me, and let me crawl through. I hadn’t shot anything in over a year. What the hell was I doing? And I felt like it had to be now. Now, when I wasn’t in a committed relationship (I was only, you know, testing the waters of one), when I didn’t own any property, when I didn’t have any children. When I was still young enough. I felt like if I didn’t give myself a kick in the ass now, it was never going to happen.  So, I crossed the country on a plane, weeping and sleeping and being anxious. In the past 17 days I have moved into a sublet. I have bought a car (and am now…broke). I have checked craigslist for a serving job every 10 minutes, and have had 3 interviews in 3 days. And hopefully, hopefully, I will land one of these jobs in the next few days…because I need the money. My to-do list out here is long. And it involves agents and managers and casting directors, apartments and furniture, classes and jobs. And to live dangerously and to jump off some metaphorical cliffs. I moved so close to the new year, I thought—why not begin my New Years’ Resolution now? And my resolution is—to live on the edge more. To live in that space where you say “fuck it”—because that is the place where all the magic and creativity happens. What if I spent my time really asking for what I want, instead of hoping that someone in a position of power likes me and decides to offer? What if I’m ballsy enough to just…say it? So. That’s me. Let’s see what happens.

So. It has been a while.

I’ve been on radio silence for about a month because there have been some very big changes in my life recently. Namely, I picked up everything and moved across the country, New York to Los Angeles.

I didn’t have a job waiting here. There was no real reason. I had friends, a sublet I had found, 5 boxes I had shipped to said friends, and 3 suitcases that I took on a plane. I left a job, connections, a boy, my life.

I moved because I felt stuck. I’d been feeling like I was making zero progress in my career, and that nothing was ever going to change. That no one on that coast was ever going to open a door, or hell, even a window for me, and let me crawl through. I hadn’t shot anything in over a year. What the hell was I doing?

And I felt like it had to be now. Now, when I wasn’t in a committed relationship (I was only, you know, testing the waters of one), when I didn’t own any property, when I didn’t have any children. When I was still young enough. I felt like if I didn’t give myself a kick in the ass now, it was never going to happen. 

So, I crossed the country on a plane, weeping and sleeping and being anxious. In the past 17 days I have moved into a sublet. I have bought a car (and am now…broke). I have checked craigslist for a serving job every 10 minutes, and have had 3 interviews in 3 days. And hopefully, hopefully, I will land one of these jobs in the next few days…because I need the money.

My to-do list out here is long. And it involves agents and managers and casting directors, apartments and furniture, classes and jobs. And to live dangerously and to jump off some metaphorical cliffs.

I moved so close to the new year, I thought—why not begin my New Years’ Resolution now? And my resolution is—to live on the edge more. To live in that space where you say “fuck it”—because that is the place where all the magic and creativity happens. What if I spent my time really asking for what I want, instead of hoping that someone in a position of power likes me and decides to offer? What if I’m ballsy enough to just…say it?

So. That’s me. Let’s see what happens.

10:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZTz-WyC4UJhL
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: me life 
  1. agirlgrowsinbrooklyn said: love you. proud. you’re gonna rock.
  2. adifferentkind posted this